We are parents doing tech differently.

Currently, in the U.S.:

  • 57% of parents with children aged 2 or younger say their child watches YouTube. 

  • 80% of parents say their child(ren) aged 5 to 11 use a tablet, while 63% say the same of smartphones

  • Children under age 14 spend, on average, 3 hours and 18 minutes per day on tech devices, engaging in screens nearly twice as long as in conversation with their families.

  • 97% of teens say they are online daily, including 46% of teens who say they are online “almost constantly.”

  • 56% of parents say they spend too much time on their smartphone, while 68% say they are distracted by their phone when spending time with their children

  • 75% of Americans take their mobile device to the bathroom.

This is where our society is. So… do we like it? Is it working? Are we having any fun?

Nope. 

71% of parents believe children using smartphones might pose more harm than benefits. (They’re right.)

So let’s move somewhere better - together.

Here’s where to start.

  • "He handed it back..."

    “My kid was begging me for a phone, so I told him he can borrow mine for the weekend as long as he uses it as a tool, not a toy. He was thrilled! I swiped open the Kroger app and put him to work planning next week’s menu. After 20 minutes, he handed it back and asked if he could go ride bikes with his friends.” -Bridget W.

  • "Favorite part of the week."

    “I recently disconnected my smartphone, but I really missed Wordle! So I introduced Scrabble to my granddaughter. We have popcorn and make a whole night out of it, and by the time the night is over, I know every one of her deepest secrets and boy crushes! It’s my favorite part of the week.” -Tammi S.

  • "She loves it."

    “For Christmas one year, my daughter asked for mugs for her new apartment. She received 3 of the exact same one, and we quickly found out everyone in the family had discovered it through Instagram ads. It took the fun out of it. Even though the mugs were perfect for her, they felt less special because it didn’t seem like a genuine gift that had taken time or thought. Recently, my husband and I dug through my mother’s attic and found her an old goofy mug from the 50’s. She loves it. She drinks out of it every day.” -Mollie D.

  • "A burden lifted."

    “I’ve talked with my [4th-grader]’s teacher about my son opting out of iPad-assigned homework, and she’s been really flexible about it. She agrees, actually, that they get enough time on screens during the day. As long as my son isn’t falling behind, and as long as he can meet the alternative requirements, she’s welcomed the opportunity to collaborate with us on our values. So now we use our at-home time to be together, cooking dinner, talking about our days, addressing things that come up. I feel like such a burden has been lifted for us all.” -Carrie W.

  • "We're an opt-out family."

    "I almost bought a smartphone for my 10-year-old and 12-year-old because their team sports and school info and club meetings all ran on separate apps and it was so much to keep track of. But then I realized that I can either put in the time sorting out schedules, or put in the time sorting out screen distractions, limits, boundaries, and placing all kinds of barriers between us. I chose schedules. Now, we’re an opt- out family.” -Cami W.

  • "My kids stopped asking..."

    “There are so many modern kids’ shows like Octonauts, Wild Kratts, and PJ Masks that feature main characters with devices. I didn’t like the message that was sending, like my kids couldn’t do cool things without having a device strapped to them. Once we stopped watching them, my kids stopped asking for smartwatches. I don’t think that’s a coincidence.” -Lisa E.

  • "No question about it."

    “Every day I’m fielding more emergencies, more scares, more stuff they shouldn’t be seeing when they’re this young. If you’re in, you’re in. It’s a 24/7 job. I think that’s why so many parents just kind of give up. There just aren’t enough hours. If I could do it again, I’d opt out. All the way, no question about it.” -Maria M.

  • "It worked."

    “I knew I couldn’t be the only parent noticing the effect that all this technology had on young kids, so I reached out to some of the parents in my daughter’s 2nd grade classroom to see if they wanted to link arms in becoming opt- out families together. And it worked. 11 out of the 19 parents were completely on the same page but just didn’t know what to say or when to say it. We’re so grateful to be in this together now. It’s just so much easier!” -Sara M.

  • "It's unfathomable."

    “When we were kids, we had the luxury of finding out who we were without a thousand people watching or commenting. Social media makes that impossible. Our kids are being taught to be their own reputation managers and publicists. Imagine that pressure, at that age. It’s unfathomable.” -Aubrey G.

  • "The best strategy I had..."

    “I have always taught my children to spot the lies. As they moved through the world, I wanted to make sure they could tell the difference between words that were true and words that sounded true. It’s the best strategy I had, and it served all of them well. And you don’t need a smartphone to do it.” -Cheryl S.

  • "All on the same page..."

    “I realized that, a lot of the time, my kids don’t know what I’m doing on my phone. I might be communicating with their coach, or placing a grocery order, but they can’t really see what’s happening on the other side. Now I make a point to narrate what I’m doing so we’re all on the same page about why I’m focused elsewhere.” -Charlotte T.

  • "That's our code word."

    “My son and I sometimes talk about where we’d want to live without technology. I’d go to some island off Greece, somewhere near the water, somewhere where the whole village has a shared understanding of what we’re doing to ourselves and our kids. And he’d go to Antarctica. So that’s our code word. “Antarctica.” When tech gets crazy, or when we’re sad to see another kid on a device during dinner, or when he’s feeling left out of his friend group, he’ll look at me and say, “Antarctica?” -Jessica E.

  • "Way less of a barrier."

    “My 17-year-old just got a smartphone, and I told her that I’d like to be her mentor, not her monitor. I’m not here to lord over her with a stopwatch. I’m a person who’s had more experience with social media than she has, and I’d like to help with any questions she has. She really appreciated the transparency, and it’s made the phone way less of a barrier for us.” -Alex C.

  • "Helps me recalibrate"

    “Whenever I feel like I’m teetering on the edge of overparenting, I ask myself: What would an 80’s parent do? It helps me recalibrate knowing I was raised in a pretty loose time, and I survived.”
    -Tina I.

  • "She chose her aunt."

    “Before I allowed my teenage daughter to activate my old smartphone, I gave her two options: she could have a weekly tech check-in with her favorite aunt, or I would keep the phone. She chose her aunt.” -Whitney C.

What’s an opt-out family, anyway?

Opt·out·family: noun, singular

  • 1. an intentional home environment, group or household unit in which the role of technology is greatly minimized as a result of evidence-based research on the developmental harms attributed to screens, social media, and digital usage. 

SYNONYMS: tech-free family, low-tech household, flip phone users, device-free, screen-free.

See also: Opt·out·families: noun, plural

How to use “opt- out families” in a sentence:

  • 1. Though not all opt- out families live in a screen-free home, many parents have chosen to reject the usage of personal devices.  

  • 2. A growing number of parents today are identifying as opt- out families; a proactive response to technology’s overreach in their child’s schools, from data mining to privacy breaches and mounting evidence on the harmful effects in brain development, attention and cognition. 

  • 3. “We’re an opt- out family,” Mary explained. “You won’t find us on separate screens, scrolling in our own worlds while sitting on the same sofa.” 


    Related: see Opt·out·kids

Looking for resources? We’ve got you covered.

Handouts, exercises, guides, e-mail scripts, printables, templates, and more. And yep, it’s all free.

A note from our founder:

As a former influencer who walked away from a million fans to live a tech-free lifestyle - and am now raising my kids to do the same - I’ve seen the dangerous underbelly of technology. I know the algorithm firsthand, and I know where it leads. It’s no place we want our next generation to be.

So how do we guide our kids somewhere better? Here at The Opt-Out Family, we’re committed to equipping you with every tip, trick, tool, and resource you need to start liberating your family from tech’s most damaging influences. Along the way? You’ll learn how to reclaim a childhood for your kids, a home for your family, and a future that’s stronger and brighter than any Wi-Fi signal could offer.

The truth is: it’s not enough to simply say no to devices. We have to say yes to something better on the other side. 

Let’s do it together.

xo, 
Erin Loechner

Get in touch.

Want to chat with our founder and favorite offline rebel, Erin Loechner? Need a dynamic speaker for your upcoming event about kids and/or technology? Looking for specific resources for your own Opt Out fam? Have a story to share about your own Opt Out journey? We’d love to hear.